Biro

by Helen Savage

There are all these black biros. They keep appearing. I find them all over my flat. They come from the place I go to during the day. I know that much. They end up coming home with me by accident when I am supposed to leave them there. No part of there is supposed to come here. No part of here, except for myself, is supposed to go there. I only started to go there because I ran out of money. Now I go there between three and four weekdays. However, there is beginning to seep into here. When opening this notebook for example, I find two of the black biros I mention. 

Sometimes I am not sure what to do with all these pens. Other times I think that now I have absolutely no excuses and I must write. 

Sometimes there is also a red pen. It looks severe. The kind of pen a teacher uses to correct mistakes with. Which is exactly what I do and how I use it when I am there. One teacher has a bright orange pen she uses to mark work. It looks positively mad. Sometimes there is a green pen too. I’ve no idea what that’s for. There is also a pink highlighter. I use this sparingly when I am there, and I do not know what it is doing here. 

Up until recently I have always been short of a pen. I would resent having to go out to buy one. There is nothing worse than having to stand in a stationary shop in front of a selection of pens. I no longer have that problem. Sometimes though, at the end of the week, I do not want to go back there. In fact, I feel quite strongly about it. I just want to stay here. 

I suppose I will keep going as it is allowing me to keep going on here without having to go to the shop very often except to buy a new notebook. They also have exercise books there though I have never brought one back with me. I wonder if this would be a step too far.

Helen is a writer based in London. She has had her short fiction published in Cipher Press’s Anthology Nights Like This. From 2019-2020 she studied a Masters in Creative and Life Writing at Goldsmiths, London. She currently teaches Creative Writing to people in prison.