HTTP Error Codes (v. Motherhood)

Reading the Internet 100316 -39

Mary Paterson 

Error 403 Forbidden / The information you requested is forbidden

because it went to bed too late
because it went to bed too early
because it went to bed next to a radiator and now it is unusually warm

404 Not Found / The information you requested could not be found

because it was fed exclusively formula
because it was fed non-organic pureed broccoli
because it was fed ice-cream
because it was shown a computer screen and now
because it was shown a computer screen and now it is entirely your fault

406 Not acceptable / The information you requested is not acceptable

because its mother was seen with unclean hands and now
because its mother was seen with a childminder and now
because its mother was seen with its father and now
because its mother was seen with a stranger and now
because its mother was seen with A computer and now

417 Expectation Failed /

because it was fed a stranger and now it is not able to form relationships
because it was fed a television and now it is not neurotypical
because it was fed exclusively breast milk and now it is not advantaged
because it was fed a fork and now it is entirely your fault
because it was fed non-organic pureed brocoli and now it is afraid
because it was fed A computer and now it is all over
because it was fed too early and now it is going to be commented on by strangers

 Reading the Internet 100316 -37

422 Unprocessable Entity /

because it was held too late and now it is never going to speak more than one language
because its mother was held too regularly and now it is laughing
because it was treated By a computer and now it is too late
because its mother was treated With unclean hands and now it is going to be sick
because it was treated To ice cream and now it is unusually warm
because its mother went to bed With a childminder and now it is crying
because its mother went to bed With its father and now it is a funny colour

424 Failed Dependency / Your request is a failed dependency

because it was treated next to a radiator and now it is all over
because its mother went to bed with a mirror and now it is disadvantaged
because its mother Was seen too regularly and now it is entirely your fault
because it was treated too sternly and now it is filled with existential rage
because it was fed unclean hands and now it is going to be commented on by strangers
because it Went to bed with ice cream and now it is going to be obscene
because its mother was shown a mirror and now it is going to be sick

429 Too Many Requests / This computer has made too many requests

because its mother was shown non-organic pureed brocoli and now it is going to make too much noise
because it was seen too early and now it is missing something
because it was held by a fork and now it is never going to speak more than one language
because it was held next to a radiator and now it is not able to communicate properly
because its mother Went to bed with a childminder and now it is not able to form relationships
because it went to bed  with a computer screen and now it is too late
because it was treated with a mirror and now it is unusually warm
because its mother was fed non-organic pureed brocoli and now it is not able to form relationships
because it was fed A stranger and now it is not neurotypical
because it was seen too kindly and now it is entirely your fault
because it was seen too late and now it is afraid
because it went to bed exclusively breast milk and now it is never going to speak more than one language

444 No Response / The information you requested is not responding

because its mother was treated with exclusively formula and now it is filled with existential rage
because it was fed exclusively breast milk and now it is not able to communicate properly
because its mother was fed exclusively formula and now it is going to be obscene
because it was shown exclusively breast milk and now it is never going to speak more than one language
because its mother was shown exclusively formula and now it is laughing
because it was seen with Exclusively breastmilk and now it is too late
because its mother was seen with exclusively formula and now it is going to be sick
because it was held by exclusively breast milk and now it is unusually warm
because its mother was held by exclusively formula and now it is crying
because it was treated with exclusively breast milk and now it is a funny colour

Error message: can't

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